I have few
memories of my mom. One that I remember clearly is that she din't want me to
live a life like her. Like every parent she wanted best for me. She always said
that I am a good daughter and knew that I will be a good wife n a good mom…but
she wanted me to be more. She wanted me to have a career; to be financially
independent. She strived hard to provide me the best of education. I still
remember the happy tears in her eyes when I got admitted in an engineering college.
She was on death bed. But was happy and satisfied. That the journey to my
success has begun.
I worked
hard…today I have a master’s degree in engineering. A good life with a loving
husband and a sweet daughter…but I am in dilemma. I have the same thoughts as
my mother. I want to provide the best for my daughter and make her into a successful
individual.
Whenever I used
to come back home from school my mom would be standing in the verandah waiting
for me. She was always available. Always eager to listen to my stupid stories
about school. I remember fondly how we would sit together after an afternoon
nap and discuss various things…how she always had time for me…………TIME what I lack now..
I am a lecturer now. The scenes have changed. Instead of my mom waiting in the verandah it’s my daughter waiting in the day care. Whenever I see her behind the glass door my heart breaks into two… I feel guilty. She wants my time. I don’t have it. She wants to play in the play ground.I have to prepare tomorrow’s lecture…She has a recitation competition. I have a seminar.
My husband has
to work hard in office. He comes late and is tired…I want him to share house
hold responsibilities too. Because I can’t do it alone…time is always scarce. My
mom efficiently managed house work. Dad never had to be burdened by them.
I feel I am
equal to my husband. I contribute in our financials. But my husband earns
decent. He does not need me to earn. I look back. I feel my parent’s life was more
balanced. Dad handled outside front. Mom handled home front. I get it now. My
parents were partners in real sense. I think again…
I remember a walk with my
dad long ago. He had said we have educated you so you have a better life. You
provide better for your child…n if god forbid but there are problems in your
life you have education as a backup. I am enlightened .I realize I don’t have
to work 9 to 5 to prove my worth. I can help my husband better if I take care
of the back end. I decide. My mind firm
I QUIT MY JOB.
